Ode to Bill and All Things Southern
Saturday, April 4, 2009 at 02:52PM | Lynn Being Southern is a good thing, expecially when both of your parents are "dyed in the wool" third or fourth generation, depending on how far back the family stories go. It was good to learn "party manners," how to grow camellias, how to make pear preserves and peach pudding, to always wear a hat to afternoon tea parties, and the proper way to say "ya'll." Knowing how to plan the perfect southern wedding came in handy, as did learning how to embroider a dining table cloth. Anyway, everyone knows that real southerners have matching silverwear, a pickle fork, and always serve deviled eggs on a deviled egg plate.
All of this was especially valuable when I married a Yankee from Pittsburgh that found out it would take ten years to win over my mother who didn't "cotton" to having a Yankee in the immediate family. I guess she didn't want to dilute the ice tea heritage. Anyway, my husband persevered, and Margaret eventually capitulated, after having him cut her grass hundreds of times, fix her roof, change her tires, take her on a few nice vacations, and become the father of two of her grandchildren. Penance can come in many forms.
My husband, Burke, and I have a friend who lives in the far Northwest---Bill. Yesterday he sent a pictorial-type joke depicting southerners. Actually, it was pretty funny and out-of-this-world ironic since it seems someone living in New York sent it to him. (That, in itself negates the meaning of the joke since the reader has to wonder what being southern has to do with someone in New York.) It showed an old car "carrying" a riding lawn mower on top of the trunk, a car with a missing door replaced with a piece of corrugated roofing metal, and a woman holding her beer in an odd way. Only, the photo with numerous long-tapered candles stuck in beer cans seemed a bit contrived. Everyone knows long white candles are expensive and the southern hostess would probably only use two Bud cans with tapers stuck in the middle, not over a dozen in one grouping. Multiple beer cans would only be required if extra vases for flowers were needed.
Bill's post caused me to think back to the time when it was normal to see all types of pick-up trucks traversing the road, many of them at least twenty years old with dents and a degree of rust, as though the vehicles had to prove their worth to the owners. Not-so-long-away there might be as many pick-ups in the church parking lot, as SUVs would be today. Problem is, hulking, unlovely SUVs have always had a certain cache and have never been a point of derision. Fact is, pick-up trucks have always been the point of southern jokes. When I saw Bill's southern scenes post, it made me wonder if pick-ups are a joke in the northeast, midwest, southwest, northwest.
We'll be visiting Bill and his wife in Washington State in a few days. I'll have my eyes open for all pick-ups missing doors and overloaded with mattresses on a Saturday move. I'll probably not see any passengers in lawn chairs because it is still too cold in that part of the country to risk that hazard, but I'll keep my camera handy.
Reader Comments (4)
I have a friend in Seattle that would probably trade you and Burke a dinner on the space needle for a couple of pounds of Stameys BBQ. Let me know if you're interested.
That's a great idea! Pity I can't travel across country with bar-be-que. I think Bill and his gang might like some. I'll be on my way soon. I'm going to a VFW Convention. He said we'll see cowboys out there. We lived in Portland, Oregon for a year (a long time ago) and am sure being in the northwest again will bring back memories.
Here's for a safe and happy trip. I remember well when Carol fell in the Portland airport and fractured her elbow. Made for a long trip home. She declared to never fly into or out of that airport again. But children and grandchildren living out there made her renege on that. Safe travels.
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